So how do You feel?

(Many moons ago riding the Katy trail in MO)
So we are well into the dog days of winter here in Northern Indiana and the trainer is becoming a staple in many of our training plans. For me, I am almost left with no option but to spin away indoors and go nowhere as ankle surgery makes it a little risky to go outside on slick roads. The biggest breakthrough for me since the last post is that I was able to finally get a little reprieve from the inside riding and hit the open roads. I really wasn't quite due to go outside per surgeon orders yet, but despite what some may think, I used good judgement and felt I was ready to get out. Even though the 3 rides I had outside were bitterly cold, I had so much fun riding that I really didn't notice. I've had several periods of time in my life where I have been forced to not ride outside for extended periods of time and it really gives me an appreciation for the sport I love. Its like the saying, "you don't know what you have until it's gone." Yeah, that's pretty much it.

My first ride back started at the top of my driveway. I live on a slight hill so I had a little decent to go down first thing. I will be honest, I was a little scared to even go down this "hill" not knowing how the ankle would handle the dip at the bottom. So with butterflies in my stomach, I pushed off. Whew!!!! Here I go! I had flashbacks to when I was a kid in my hometown when us neighborhood kids would see how far we could go no- hands down the big hill on our bikes. It was a scary, exciting, and a fun thing to do. To push each other to the limits of our human abilities. That's what cycling is about: FUN.

Sometimes I think it is about handling suffering, getting to know your inner self when you are at your harshest times. Maybe somewhat, but not really. Its about going forward the fastest, smoothest, and most near perfection as you can. This is everything contrary to riding the trainer! Sure, you can find pleasure in hitting some big watts on the trainer and breaking a personal best. But riding the trainer doesn't "feel" like riding. We call it going for a bike "ride," not going for a bike "pedal." Rides are fun adventures. Pedaling is an act of doing.

I don't race other people to beat other people. I race them because they might beat me, forcing me better myself in the process. If someone steps it up a notch, then I have to do the same myself which only makes me get closer to my perfect form. I race to win, but its the most fun to me when I am truly challenged. It about progression of oneself to me and I really do want to race other people that progress themselves too.

In the BMX days, a group of us would get together on practice days and hit a section of the track time after time after time. Hours on end we would do only one section to see who could one up each other. Even though you always wanted to be the one up, you always wanted the next person to one up you again. Because the challenge was the fun part. Let's see how far we can take it! How cool did it feel to hit a section as smooth as you ever thought possible only to turn around and hit it even smoother 2 hours later? Well, it's our air-o-plane.

Point is, the trainer is a necessary tool to progress our fitness in the Midwest. But I don't like it. Its a dead feeling to me, and its all because we ride our bikes to feel. Some people want to feel different things at different times. To me, I want the rush it brings. Whatever that may be for any given day. So maybe ask yourself, how do you feel? And to what lengths do you go to feel it?

"Hey look Mom and Dad! I'm riding away from you!"

That's what I still remember the first time without training wheels as I screamed to my parents as I headed away from them.

"I'm really doing it!"

It only took me one try, no wrecks, no problems. I took off, looked back at my parents very calmly and saw such a look of joy and relieve (yet fear) in their expressions. I felt such a rush! I turned back, facing the road and whispered to myself:

"this feels like so much fun!"

The same feeling I had before riding down my driveway the other day.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel still.

It's my air-o-plane.