Epic!

Epic defined by urban dictionary:

A word that used to be used to describe a book, a movie or other work as timeless, great, and meaningful. Is now used by douchebags who combine it with "win" or "fail" to describe everyday things.

True definition of epic:

Surpassing the usual or ordinary, particularly in scope or size.

Epic: is highly overused in cycling. That's a fact.

Today I broke out the word epic: I said to myself I must be having the most epic string of bad luck ever. I was having a pity party sort of day. I try really hard to not have these moments, try to keep my chin up, ALWAYS trust in the plan that God has. His epic plan. Today I was a bit tired of "keeping my chin up." I had just had enough! I allowed myself to be bummed out with my situation for the 1st time in a while. As most may not know of me, I was an incredibly shy child, I don't think I even spoke 2 sentences at school to until the 3rd grade. I used to tell my Mom how nervous I was and she would say then and even today; "honey, just walk in there like you own the place. Never lose sight of who you ARE and the rest will fall into place." Well, I haven't lost sight of that, but it doesn't mean I understand why things happen to me, but I felt I had every right to admit that the last couple years have been a bit epic in the bad luck department concerning my health.

I've just been released from a 4 day stay in the ICU. This coming almost 5 months from the day that I had spent 11 days there fighting for my life. I was just getting back to feeling somewhat normal. I did a fun cx race in Yorktown last weekend, woke up Monday with a small bite behind my right knee. I went about my business and by Wed I had a draining wound, by Thursday I had fever and a full blown case of cellulitis and a swollen leg. Friday afternoon I was laying back in a hospital bed getting strong antibiotics and medicine to help with severe dizziness and nausea along with IV fluid to help with dehydration. Compared to my last stay this was a minor speed bump on my way to recovery. Minor to me, but I was still feeling pretty crummy, I didn't want to be there, and I was bummed out about yet another health problem. How can this be possible?

(This is the healed version of the infection. Prior to the antibiotics it was very swollen and draining all sorts of bad stuff).

I mean seriously! As some say: I'm the healthiest sick person they know. Yep, that's me. But the truth is, I don't really view myself as a sick person. Just a gal who is on a epic journey. I feel that deep down I'm a kid at heart living the dream. Here's how that goes:

Every time I have ever used epic to describe a ride it has been a ride I have chosen to go on. I take off, usually get lost, have no idea where I am, run out of food and water, bonk, get saved somehow, regroup, ride tons more miles than planned, enjoy the most wonderful scenery, then make it home. From guess what? That's right... an epic ride.

Well, this is somehow the same. Except I didn't chose to have these things happen to me. They just happened. I don't understand why they happened. I've felt very bad physically at times, my friends, family, and God saved me. Matter of fact, I can maybe only remember about 3 months in the last 2 years where I ever felt "good." I carry on and each time I am thankful even more to be where I am. It's epic.

Here's a low down of the past couple years:

July 2010 emergency appendectomy. October '10 Broken ribs at UCI3. Nov '10 Viral Meningitis. Dec '10 Ankle surgery to repair fracture. June '11 Tarsal Tunnel Release- 2 days later- The NDE PE. Live and 2 weeks later develop myopathy/ myasthenia gravis. Nov '11 Severe leg infection... and this is all not mentioning of the 5 operations I had in the previous 4 years before this.

Enough already!

(Normally I get these from cyclocross battles... but this season they came from having many iv's and blood draws)

Yet, I keep my chin up. Heaven only knows why. As quickly as I had the pity party day, it passed on just as quickly. I've got things to do, places to see, and life to experience!

I can either fight like hell or lay down and die...

I had the chance to lay down and die and I passed on that option once already so I guess I'll fight like hell!

Life is going to be EPIC...

I just pray in a different way.