I know most of my readers have been watching the Tour and unless you had a emergency (like getting your appendix out) you watched the last mountain stage drama unfold in the massive fog and clouds a few days ago. Hopefully, most of you have had a chance to ride amongst the clouds and felt that cool, yet erie, feeling of having the fog all around you, and watching it unfold as you come down from the mountain you've been on. Having those memories of those feelings remind me of how I've been feeling the past 2 weeks. I've been in a fog, life has been marching along in an almost surreal nature. I feel it all around me, but my mind seems so heavy and I can't quite see how my life is playing out in the future. Kinda like being in the clouds, but just not as fun. It kinda also reminds me of a few lyrics from the Jane's Addiction song:
Comin down the mountain...Holding it back
it Hurts so bad
Jumping out of my flesh
And I say Ahhhh...
So I've been steadily coming down the mountain in a couple ways. One, I'm not required to take as many drugs that alter my mind. That's obvious how that works to help come down, and two, I'm slowly getting back to doing my normal routines of life. I'm not aimlessly wandering around on a narrow mountain peak. I'm slowly starting to b aware of my surroundings and I can almost see the road ahead of me. Almost.
So its been 11 days since I landed in the hospital (as a patient) and even though its been really, really tough at times, I'm pretty amazed at how I'm bouncing back. I've felt pretty good the last 2 days and expect more of the same in the next 2 days too. I kept it on the down low to not catch any grief, but I actually started back on the trainer 6 days after surgery, and although it wasn't pretty, it got the good juices going again. On day 8 I was blessed to have my surgeon go for a walk with me in my neighborhood, followed by me getting to slowly ride my mtb along side him for his half-marathon training. He knew my mindset at the time and knew I needed to snap out of "sick" mode and move into "athlete" mode to get me back on my feet. I was happy to have him whip me into shape and although that seems above what a normal patient/ surgeon relationship is, it really isn't too far of a stretch. Like I tell people, those of us who work together in the OR experience situations most people would never imagine, and in our "family" we get to know each other well and take care of each other, I'm lucky to have people around me that care... regardless, it worked. Four days since then and I was able to ride outside for 14 miles, that was today. It was awesome. Riding after a long break ALWAYS reminds me of why I ride.
(Really seeing what I'm made of: Nice picture of where my appendix and right fallopian tube/ ovary used to be (black mark under the instrument), plus a healthy looking uterus (round thing at top of picture). All that yellow stuff is bowel fat (normal and healthy), and the thing to the left is part of my colon. No bleeding, and smooth work by Dr Ilada)
I have also returned to the working world and was blessed to get a couple shifts that were not too busy. I felt pretty rough there for a little while, but it was also comforting to know that my anesthesia colleagues would be there in a heart beat if I felt I needed covered or couldn't handle coming back to work. That never needed to happen.
Physically, I'm healing up nicely as expected. I'm finally eating a regular diet after about 10 days of liquids and semi solids. Let me just say, I would never make it in Hollywood. I missed peanut butter too much. Even though I can say I was totally turned off and appalled by food for about 6 days. I never thought that was possible. I also never thought it was possible to go without chocolate for 10 days... but I did. That's just crazy.
(That yellowish looking thing is my appendix, being placed in a bag to be pulled out of an incision in the abdomen. Bad appendix, bad.)
I'm still having some problems with one of the port incision sites spasming. Its right under my rib cage and has a bit of swelling so, it will just take time to settle down. It is a bit of a discomfort to breath since my lung expansion encroached on it some. Now I know what its like to be stabbed... as one of the other general surgeons pointed out to me. I'm going to have to be patient with this healing up and not get ahead of myself with core workouts. I'm sure my strength coach Darrell will figure it all out like always.
At this point I am just taking things day by day and not pushing it too hard. I think the first 2-3 weeks are critical to recover from surgery and stage a proper comeback. Assuring adequate rest is my main goal right now and so far I've been banking 10 hrs of sleep each night. I am hoping to return to racing at the Frankie Park DRT race. I plan on this being more of a "ride" around the coarse for me, but going through the race prep will be fun and I'm just gonna see how things go before then. First is to see how I'm doing at my follow-up visit on Monday. Funny, that I also have a 8th month follow-up with Dr Porter (ankle) on Wed in Indy with some more ankle testing to see if I can have full clearance to tackle cyclocross full- on and see about dealing with the nerve damage by my fibula.... I feel like a old lady with so many appointments... but it won't slow me down too much.
Otherwise, my main focus now is getting into full cyclocross mode. Getting the bikes built and getting fitted by Summit City Bicycles in the very near future....
time to come down from the mountain (bikes) and start riding cross!
I tell you with certainty, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.- Matthew 17:20
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