Aside from that being a Bad A** song and video by Jay-Z, that's the switch that was finally flipped in my mind last week. I'm finally seeing some improvements in the ankle and I'm starting to look forward to the next season of riding. On to the next one.
"I move onward, the only direction. Can't be scared to fail. Search your perfection. Gotta keep it fresh girl... I'm on to the next one."
It's a scary thing when you have major surgery on a limb that is vital to cycling. Even though the thought of not being a top cyclist was on my mind, the worry that I might have trouble walking and doing my job or taking care of my house was the first concern. Cycling is a lot of who I am, but basic care is a adult requirement. Now that I see that everything is going fairly good, I'm starting to allow some hope back in my mind for getting back to racing on top. Its also very scary that I may come back and not be the same, maybe not as good. But I really can't be scared to fail, because who would I be failing really? No one. Besides, I'm gonna work my butt off to come back even stronger.
"World can't hold me, too much ambition... on to the next one."
I love, love, love this time of year in a way. I like planning the next year of racing. Thinking and choosing new races and places to go, hitting the old favorites that I have raced at so many times, the prospect of improving on previous results, thoughts of riding some support for teammates, and thinking about how the master plan will all come together. It's fun to piece it all together like a hard puzzle, taking time to think and plan it all out and laugh at how it seems like it will fall together like a perfect receipt, but knowing that once the season gets here it will be like a space shuttle take off! It will be a crazy, mind blowing chaos. Things will go wrong, unexpected events will occur, it will be stressful at times, it will be a whirlwind, things will be added and dropped. But in the end it will all fall together as it should and I will be left savoring
the adventures of the season. Kinda like after a shuttle takes off then settles in the stillness of space looking back at the beauty of earth.
The ankle continues to make improvements. I'm up to 35 minutes on the bike. That matters. It may not seem like too much time on a bike to a normal cyclist, but that's a pretty big deal to me right now. It helps me feel like I'm moving forward and keeps to legs going and the confidence up. It helps me feel alive. I've also ditched the crutches completely. It feels funny to walk on both legs again, and its nice to have my hands free to carry coffee or talk on my cell phone while on the move. I still need the little go cart for longer distances, but I'm build up the endurance. I've also been able to hit the gym almost everyday and have steadily stepped up the intensity. I actually love the gym in the winter and I enjoy the change of workouts from the bike training. The ankle has also improved greatly in the amount of swelling I was having as you can see in the picture. So much so that I can actually feel and see the suture knots under the skin from some of the repairs that where done. They are kinda like bee-bees under the skin waiting to pop out. I was also able to sleep under the covers for the first time last night. The hugeness of the cast and the weight of the blankets make it almost impossible to sleep under the covers. I made this little pillow lift at the foot of the bed and that helped me last night finally sleep a little better.
Its a new year and that brings hope along with it for a lot of people. We love to have hope and it's a really important feeling for us to have. Because without hope we don't have much. I'm thankful to be getting a little better, even though it's a long way to go, but I can start to hope for things the future days hold. I thank God for my hope. Because if anything matters, than everything matters.
I just move on to the next day, then to the next one. "Y'all should be afraid of what I'm gonna do next." I'm hoping and planning on the next season to be even better than the last one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM1RChZk1EU
1 comment:
Congrats on the increased time on the bike!
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