"Life Is What Happens While Your Busy Making Other Plans"- Lennon

So as an update, it's been 3 weeks now that I have been off the bike and down and out with illness. Not only have I not rode, I have done no type of physical activity of any kinda making this the longest period in my life that I have ever been inactive (from what I can remember). That's been a huge lifestyle shift for me, but in all honesty, I really have been too sick to really stress over it too much. After a lot of testing and talking with the Great Dr Coates, we have come to the conclusion of viral meningitis and now lingering ear infections. I'm finally rounding the corner and starting to feel better, I'm so happy to be back to work but even a day of work makes me ready to sleep the entire evening and night. Coates can't really give me a time frame for when I will be 100% recovered and the basic conclusion is that I have become chronically fatigued and that just taking things day to day is how it has to be right now. The next step is taking a look at my cortisol levels to make sure my body can get back up to snuff. That pretty much means no short term goals and no structured training plans that I'm so accustomed to. That also means no trip to Nationals for cross. When I finally came to that realization last week I was pretty devastated. I had banked my entire season and comebacks on that trip to Bend, and now some silly brain infection was gonna keep me from it and it is completely out if my control. It's was depressing to me to think back about not only overcoming the ankle surgery, but also fighting back from the emergency appendectomy in July, staying positive the whole time, putting in all the hard training days, planning, family sacrifices, equipment prep, and juggling both professions with precision, to see that all go down the drain... an entire waste of a season. I'm not looking for any outside pitty party here, I just saying I was extremely disappointed for myself. What a waste.

Was this all wasted time? A wasted season? I was forced to think back and I once again turned to my faith and my family to look at the positive side of things. I had focused my whole season on the end point... cyclocross nationals. We live our whole lives (or should) finding and doing what God has put us on earth to do to assure our eternal life after death in heaven. The goal is heaven right? Well, surely God didn't put us here simply to focus on the end point and not enjoy the journey of getting there. I had PLANNED on nats and a full cross season, but turns out, life happened while I made those plans, and looking back at the season, I had a wonderful journey, made so many memories and learned so much about myself that I really, really enjoyed the journey! It really is about the journey and sometimes I get so caught up in the goals and outcomes that I forget to take it all in and enjoy it. Life is what happens while were busy making other plans. That's something every goal driven person needs to brake check sometimes and remember. It's all happening right now as we all take in each breathe.

I did have a good season. I didn't waste my time. I had results that most people would kill for. I had a good mtb season, unexpectedly, after 2 major operations, and eventually won the DINO elite women's series. I had respectable results for a full time worker in the the major cx races, and good results in the ovcx races as well. Aside from struggling with a very bad case of hot foot all year that made every ride miserable, I had fun riding my bike. Which is really what it's about, no wasted time. Most of all, I've had a great time with my teammates, other riders, mechanics, and family this year and I really miss being out there adding more memories to that list. I love cycling, the culture, the people.

Looking back now its easy to say I pushed it too far, I pushed when my body was pulling. I have essentially drove myself into the ground. Racing 2 weeks after the appy in July probably cost me this last half of my cross season. A body can only do so much and mine did all it can do and I'm pretty impressed with how I held up even when I was in complete failure. I pretty much think that by the time the KY USGP came around, I was on fumes, but I somehow turned out a 16th and 19th! It's a good last memory to sit on for a while until I can race again. No regrets.

So I'm not sure what the rest of the year will hold for me. I hope to get back to riding pretty regularly and maybe even make a couple late cross races. I'm just gonna listen to my body and go with the flow. Since my series overall standing for ovcx goals are fading away, I really hope to be able to hit the Gravel Grovel and do some mtb riding which are things that get pushed to the back burner when I'm in cross mode. I also have some big changes happening next year and I'm really excited about those and hopefully I can let you all in on that in the not so distant future.

I'm already looking ahead to next year, and CX Nationals in Madison... but most importantly, I'm looking forward to Life's journey of getting there. Thanks for reading everyone!

"Out on the ocean sailing away

I can hardly wait

To see you come of age

But I guess we'll both just have to be patient

'Cause it's a long way to go

A hard row to hoe

Yes it's a long way to go

But in the meantime....

Life is what happens while your busy making other plans."

-Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)

John Lennon