There is always something to be thankful for.

It's amazing how time passes so quickly when you are home. I think it actually goes at the same pace, but I just don't remember much of anything right now. I pretty much wasn't expecting things to be this painful this early, so I have had to take the pain meds regularly and I'm not really used to mind altering substances. Last surgery was painful with nerve damage, but this round seems to be so much more painful around the ankle joint. He had so much to repair and fix and that means more tissue was damaged and has become inf lammed, painful, bruised and swollen. Any of the slightest movement that causes my fibula to brush up against the cast has me yelp out like a little girl. Plus, a nice addition to the pain has been the onset of my calf muscle spasming around the incision. Its like a Charlie horse from Hell with a knife stuck in it. My attempts at trying to space out the pain meds from every 4 hours has not worked out yet. I hate taking them, but things just aren't tolerable to do that just yet. I consider myself a pretty strong gal, but this is proving to get the best of me at the moment.

However, I am noticing some small improvements and I know that more will come. I finally felt good enough to take a bath. When you are totally lame you don't even care if you haven't showered in days. Its always humbling to have your Mom help give you a bath at 33. Thank God for Mom's. I also finally got over the nausea enough to take some much needed vitamins and eat real food. I could also put the slightest pressure on my toe for balance without being in severe pain. That was huge! Plus, I am able to make my own coffee in the morning! That rocks.

I have made note of a few more things that suck with surgery: I can't follow anything. I mumble around like I am drunk half the time. I had big plans to read a couple books and watch a bunch of movies. So far, I watched Star Trek, Dark Knight, and Transformers. The special effects were very cool since I was in a drug induced cloud, but I have no idea, what so ever, what the movies were about. I don't know if I should take them back or watch them again. Also, it's not a good idea to even think about online shopping. I'm sure I could blow all my money before I even know what hit me. Good thing my purse is in my truck where I can't reach it. Plus, no matter how much you think laying on the couch sounds like fun during heavy training season- it is not that much fun. I may need a new couch now, because I now hate the one I have and the thought of getting out of bed to lay on the couch another day is nauseating. The last thing that sucks is that I am obsessed with ice and ice melts. Ice is wonderful and an ankle that is the size of a softball gladly welcomes ice, but it is a constant that never lasts.

So that's the tons of cool things going on with me, its very exciting I know. Tomorrow I am going to step outside in the real world for the first time since surgery. I have a funeral to attend for a friend and colleague of one of our surgeons in Warsaw. Not exactly what I was wanting my first trip outside to be, but let it be a grim reminder that things can always be worse off. In a time where things are hard and painful for me, I have a lot to be thankful for. In the grand picture of things, I am very blessed.

Neal, may you rest in peace.

You were a great man and dear friend.

I will miss you very much.