Worth A Thousand Words

Well, since the last post I've been trying to return to the world of cycling, slowly, but surely. That's been great, but the real truth is that I have really just been happy to be able to return to work and everyday life in a somewhat normal fashion without feeling like death every moment. Sometimes you don't realize how bad you felt until you don't feel that way and this illness has certainly held true for that of myself. I also have grown to know that I can walk around and "act" pretty normal on the outside when I feel like killing over on the inside. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but I'm blaming that trait on my Mom for now.

Over the last few days I finally think I have dropped the massive headaches that accompanied the meningitis (that is a wonderful feeling) and I've slowly gained some energy back. I've learned that this can linger for about 6-8 weeks and I'm trying not to rush into thinking I should feel normal too soon. I've slowly tallied up some rides. I've enjoyed being back on the bike when I can and buckled down and hit some pretty cold rides as the weather is getting pretty chilly these days. I also have decided to try and stay outside for most of my training this winter and invested in some lights and winter Specialized defroster shoes thanks to Summit City Bicycles in Fort Wayne. I can't wait to really put them to the test!

This season has certainly been a roller coaster ride for me and this weekend I decided to keep that crazy train rolling a little more. Given that my overall ovcx standings were pretty much in the dog house since I had missed so many races, I decided to do some other races that I had always wanted to do, but could not since I was in a points chase. I really wanted to do the Gravel Grovel, but decided that the distance would be a little much for me to tackle with so much recent time off the bike. I had always wanted to hit up Jingle Cross in Iowa City, but

it had always been difficult to get the timing just

right with the holiday and my work. Somehow,

it all seemed to line up just right this year, and I decided to head west. I had to work Friday, so I was bummed about missing the night race, but in the end, I'm glad I didn't head out that day as family time would have been tight on Thursday to pack and get ready. So it worked out.... my sister Beth and I took off late Friday after work and had a nice trip to Iowa City and enjoyed catching up with each other and settled in to the hotel for some rest before heading out into the cold on Saturday... and so it began. I had always seen pictures of Mt Krumpit. I love how they say pictured say a thousand words, but somehow, that saying failed me for this venue. Funny how things never look as steep and gnarly in pictures as compared to what they really are. When we pulled into the venue on Saturday, we rounded the corner, saw the hill, and collectively said, "oh sh**." I knew I hadn't been training much lately, but I figured I had some sort of lingering fitness to hold on in this race, but my recon in pre-riding of this hill had me out of breath. It was a 200 ft "run" up and it was pure mud... and we ran up it 4 times in the race. I'll get back to that. I loved the rest of the course. It was held at a fairgrounds and had some really fun features and I felt right at home since I do most of my cross training at my local fairgrounds. I was excited to get racing, but really had no expectations since I had prep for this race in almost ZERO ways. I just didn't want to come in last. At the start we had a pretty competitive field of 25 gals and I struggled from the gun with clipping in as the pic shows above. I finally got it together once I was dead last and started to work back up. About 1/2 a lap into it, I had worked back up to 12th place and was feeling pretty good and then it hit me- the Wall. The stupid Mt Krumpit wall. Who's idea was it to put that stupid hill in the way of the cross course anyway? I started the run up and I started going backwards - it was all downhill from there. My body just didn't have it in me to exert that sort of upward effort just yet. Every lap I would gain on the bike only to drop a few more places on the run up. It was frustrating to have everything else go smoothly and watch it all become pointless on the hill. I ended up finally trying to fight the frustration and not get so ticked at myself for not being able to run up a massive hill after being really sick for the last month.

I just chilled out my attitude and enjoyed the venue and kinda rode like I was in cross practice. I think hitting the deck kinda helped me do that too (as seen in the pic above). Nothing like a high speed endo in to a downhill pile of hay bails to help you not take things too seriously. I ended up sprinting for last place on the last lap. I could have done a little better, but it just wasn't realistic for me to expect it. I have never finished last at a race like this and I would have never imagined being okay with that result, but I really didn't mind. I had fun, I did a race I've always wanted to check out, I had my sister there cheering me on, and I was able to race my bike at a pro UCI race. It easy to be the Monday QB and look through the results of the weekend and look at the snap shot of how races turned out. We all do it. But a thousand words of that snap shot isn't nearly enough to tell the whole story of what happened or what events lead up to the results. I was last on the results, but at least I was able to show up, which is something I hadn't been able to do for the previous 4 weeks.

After the race, Beth and I did some shopping after dinner. There isn't much else to do in Iowa! We both faded pretty fast while shopping and retired to the hotel pretty early. The second I hit the hotel lobby, I was exhausted. The buzz of the race was wearing off and the reality that I was still recovering from illness hit me. I was asleep by 9pm. I woke up Sunday and still felt exhausted and I had to decide what to do. I was afraid that if I raced that I wouldn't be able make the 7 hour trip home alive enough to do anesthesia Monday morning. Given how exhausted the previous day had made me, I was sure another day of My Krumpit would only compound things more. I decided to skip day 3 of Jinglecross. That decision just about killed me, but it was the smart thing to do. After all, I'm a professional and I have to assure that I can do my real job above all else in the end. Beth and I opted to have a nice breakfast and worked our way back home at a nice pace, stopping and having fun along the way. We really had a fun time together and it was a nice trip despite my race results.

Jingle cross is now marked off my "to do" list and I can say I have no desire to ever do this race again in the future. I've done enough races in my life to know that I will never be good at Mt Krumpit and if the Grinch wants to own that hill, he can have it for all I care. I'm glad I went and found that out before taking a lot of time off from work for it next year. The event was run great, the fans were wonderful and I would recommend this to other people, but it wasn't for me. I'll mark down Jinglecross on my resume as a 25th place result. It will be there visually for years to come and I'll look at the number and chuckle a little to myself knowing that it was a last place finish. I'll even chuckle a little more knowing that that is only a number and a snap shot of the journey I had to get there and fun trip I cherished with my sister.

Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but a memory is so much more valuable in the end.

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome.

-Booker T Washington

"Life Is What Happens While Your Busy Making Other Plans"- Lennon

So as an update, it's been 3 weeks now that I have been off the bike and down and out with illness. Not only have I not rode, I have done no type of physical activity of any kinda making this the longest period in my life that I have ever been inactive (from what I can remember). That's been a huge lifestyle shift for me, but in all honesty, I really have been too sick to really stress over it too much. After a lot of testing and talking with the Great Dr Coates, we have come to the conclusion of viral meningitis and now lingering ear infections. I'm finally rounding the corner and starting to feel better, I'm so happy to be back to work but even a day of work makes me ready to sleep the entire evening and night. Coates can't really give me a time frame for when I will be 100% recovered and the basic conclusion is that I have become chronically fatigued and that just taking things day to day is how it has to be right now. The next step is taking a look at my cortisol levels to make sure my body can get back up to snuff. That pretty much means no short term goals and no structured training plans that I'm so accustomed to. That also means no trip to Nationals for cross. When I finally came to that realization last week I was pretty devastated. I had banked my entire season and comebacks on that trip to Bend, and now some silly brain infection was gonna keep me from it and it is completely out if my control. It's was depressing to me to think back about not only overcoming the ankle surgery, but also fighting back from the emergency appendectomy in July, staying positive the whole time, putting in all the hard training days, planning, family sacrifices, equipment prep, and juggling both professions with precision, to see that all go down the drain... an entire waste of a season. I'm not looking for any outside pitty party here, I just saying I was extremely disappointed for myself. What a waste.

Was this all wasted time? A wasted season? I was forced to think back and I once again turned to my faith and my family to look at the positive side of things. I had focused my whole season on the end point... cyclocross nationals. We live our whole lives (or should) finding and doing what God has put us on earth to do to assure our eternal life after death in heaven. The goal is heaven right? Well, surely God didn't put us here simply to focus on the end point and not enjoy the journey of getting there. I had PLANNED on nats and a full cross season, but turns out, life happened while I made those plans, and looking back at the season, I had a wonderful journey, made so many memories and learned so much about myself that I really, really enjoyed the journey! It really is about the journey and sometimes I get so caught up in the goals and outcomes that I forget to take it all in and enjoy it. Life is what happens while were busy making other plans. That's something every goal driven person needs to brake check sometimes and remember. It's all happening right now as we all take in each breathe.

I did have a good season. I didn't waste my time. I had results that most people would kill for. I had a good mtb season, unexpectedly, after 2 major operations, and eventually won the DINO elite women's series. I had respectable results for a full time worker in the the major cx races, and good results in the ovcx races as well. Aside from struggling with a very bad case of hot foot all year that made every ride miserable, I had fun riding my bike. Which is really what it's about, no wasted time. Most of all, I've had a great time with my teammates, other riders, mechanics, and family this year and I really miss being out there adding more memories to that list. I love cycling, the culture, the people.

Looking back now its easy to say I pushed it too far, I pushed when my body was pulling. I have essentially drove myself into the ground. Racing 2 weeks after the appy in July probably cost me this last half of my cross season. A body can only do so much and mine did all it can do and I'm pretty impressed with how I held up even when I was in complete failure. I pretty much think that by the time the KY USGP came around, I was on fumes, but I somehow turned out a 16th and 19th! It's a good last memory to sit on for a while until I can race again. No regrets.

So I'm not sure what the rest of the year will hold for me. I hope to get back to riding pretty regularly and maybe even make a couple late cross races. I'm just gonna listen to my body and go with the flow. Since my series overall standing for ovcx goals are fading away, I really hope to be able to hit the Gravel Grovel and do some mtb riding which are things that get pushed to the back burner when I'm in cross mode. I also have some big changes happening next year and I'm really excited about those and hopefully I can let you all in on that in the not so distant future.

I'm already looking ahead to next year, and CX Nationals in Madison... but most importantly, I'm looking forward to Life's journey of getting there. Thanks for reading everyone!

"Out on the ocean sailing away

I can hardly wait

To see you come of age

But I guess we'll both just have to be patient

'Cause it's a long way to go

A hard row to hoe

Yes it's a long way to go

But in the meantime....

Life is what happens while your busy making other plans."

-Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)

John Lennon

Iceman Fever!

(Last year's Iceman finish. Photo: http://archive.ditzlerphoto.com/)

I think we all know how much I love doing the Iceman Cometh, heck half the country loves to do the Iceman. The last couple years it has been a nice divider to my cyclocross season and has served as a small weekend break from cross that brings me back to the days of crispy, fall mountain bike rides that I used to do before I took up the cross craze. This year's Iceman is shaping up to be a perfect set-up for me personally. I LOVE tough weather conditions (except extreme heat), and the Pro women's field has a good showing of riders, but not too many gals are signed up this year that get paid to ride their bikes. This gives a nice level playing field for us commoners. Going thru the start list I placed myself in the top 8 hopeful. But that hope is not going to happen this year. I've had a fever for 2 weeks and that doesn't mix well with a race called Iceman. Like I said in my last post, I've been battling a super bug, and after hopes it would be a quick recovery, it has been the opposite and has been a very long one. Funny to think that I was on my bike quicker after my appendectomy than what I have been with this flu bug.

In the last 2 weeks I have only been on the bike 2 times and I can't honestly see when I will be on it again. The good news is that after forfeiting a good amount of my blood for testing, I do not have mono, pneumonia, or lupus. I DO however, have the flu and I AM having a hard time fighting it. It seems I had pushed myself a bit too far and required way to much of my body to work over full time, mend busted ribs, race, train, and fight off bugs. I had been too stubborn to listen to the warning signs and figured I would push through it, but God has given me the red light and has left me no other choice, but to lay around and rest. Even though I'm bummed about missing the iceman and a few weeks of cross racing, I'm sure He has it all planned out and I have to trust that as hard as it is. I now am hungry to get back to riding and look very forward to Cyclocross Nationals on the next 5 weeks in Oregon.

In the meantime I have discovered a few things: Black kitty is super happy to have me home to keep her warm and she makes an excellent heated pillow. I have also found that 50% of tv shows involve drugs, or migration issues. I have found that I really, really dislike people who doping more and more everyday and that this probably stems from my Dad's zero tolerance to anyone who cheats in any way. I also have found that The Dog Whisperer is a much better dog trainer than the "it's me or the dog" lady. Lastly, I hate my furniture and the way it is arranged, but I'm too sick to move it or figure it out. I may just hate it because I have to be around it all day. I can't quite decide.

(Eby, aka, Black Kitty, helping to coach me on how to rest)

But in good news I've also discovered this: despite feeling like the bike industry is full of a lot of snobs and people who love themselves way too much; plus feeling like some people (ie usgp) only care to cater to the big time pros- I do realize that there are A LOT of people in the industry and around me that remember one thing: that riding a bike is fun. The person beside you rides a bike to have fun, I ride to have fun, and the 6 year old down the street rides to have fun, and we can all have fun together. There are a lot of good people in cycling and always has been and thank you to all those people.

People who race with enhancement are not having fun- they don't provide their successes, they must be in some sort of private Hell and I pray for those people to find a way out. People who snob those with entry level bikes are not cool- the person who rides a decked out Harley is enjoying the ride, but so is the guy riding a Shadow. If I had no means to ride the best stuff, I would still find a way to roll around on a department store bike and enjoy it. I'm glad I don't have to do that, but think about that personally; is it the ride or the Ride? I really believe a lot of us would go clunk over nothing and it's refreshing to feel that way.

Now go ride your bike! Someone should since I can't.

Good luck to everyone I know who is doing the Iceman this year!

Hopefully my next post is a race report or something a little more exciting to blog about.

Thanks for reading.

Matthew 16: 26

For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but lose their soul?

On The Bridge

So I'll admit that the above photo from the Derby City USGP last weekend is pretty much an example of how things have been going for me since the UCI3 weekend. I have not quite been myself, but I continue to work through the struggles of injury, travel, work, and race results. Just like above, I pride myself in my sand pit riding skills, but in this photo I decided to dismount and dodge the other gals who maybe find this a little hard. It was a different approach, but it paid off in the end. Even though my race results have not been bad, I was hoping for better up to this point in the season, and after taking a blow at Harbin Park, my drive to keep on pushing has been tested; not my typical attitude. After a tough season plagued with physical injuries, the week after Harbin with the cracked ribs was a physical struggle and I started to question myself to ask why I continue to fight through so much physical pain in order to reach my personal cycling goals.I wandered how much I could take before cracking mentally, but I reflected and found the drive to continue. I am thankful to be a person who races for the joy of it myself and not for other's around me. Otherwise, this really wouldn't be all that fun, would it? I honestly almost decided to call it quits for the season, and I was in a pretty dark spot for a bit. This wasn't helped by the fact that every single breathe I took made me wince with pain. I won't go into my personal reasons for racing on, but after a week of pretty easy spinning, I decided at the last moment to do the Blooming cross race. I didn't want to make any long term decisions based on my current mood, so I just went racing with no expectations. I was warned to not race by my Dr, but I figured I would take it easy and try to stay in safe situations and not be too aggressive. I knew another fall to the bad side would potentially send my rib into my lung. So, I played it safe, I took off pretty slow for me and started mid- pack, trying to stay in my little safe bubble. I worked my way up to second and safely stayed there, babying around the corners and cruised in for a 2nd place. I had a good time, and boosted my love a little more since the DRT crew ran such a fun race!

The whole rest of that week was spent in Brown County in a great cabin with my Mom. We take a fall trip every year together and get some time to catch up with each other and enjoy the beauty of the area. I'm really lucky to be able to spend time like this with her, and I'm blessed to have a Mom who is also a good friend. I did some riding, read a book, sat around in the hot tub, and spent a lot of time cleaning up the cabin woods looking for firewood to burn. We really hated to leave, but we made some good memories and we already look forward to next year!

While the time in BC was great, my health that week kept going downhill. The race the Sunday before took its toll on me and I was feeling pretty bad by Wed. I had trouble breathing, was throwing up, and just felt zapped. After getting home Thur. I decided to get into see the Dr again to make sure I didn't have any major issues before the GP. We were concerned I may have lacerated a liver or have a pnuemothorax. We did several tests and I spent the day being poked and prodded and spent hour after hour in a hospital bed. Great news was that nothing major came back, but a couple things didn't add up until after the GP.

How could I miss the Derby City Cup? Biggest OVCX of the year, probably the most anticipated race in the country with the unveiling of the future World Cup venue, and the biggest pro field to date? Seriously, I was having a rough week to say the least physically and mentally, I was on the bridge about ready to jump my cycling season into the depths below... but I decided to go. What did I have to lose? If I couldn't find any motivation the morning of the L'ville gp, I wasn't going to find it at all this season. It didn't take long to find. I woke up ready to race and looked forward to the day ahead, despite spending most of the night awake and struggling to breath. I was starting to get a nasty URI and sneezing and coughing with busted ribs was not going well.

I headed out for an early recon of the course and even though I loved the set-up, I felt like I was a fish out of water. I could hardly take in any 02! I had to put that behind me and pretend I felt fine. I opted to have a very controlled warm-up on the trainer instead of putting in to many ups and downs on the tough course to preview it. I headed to the start line and tucked in the grid as the next to last starter in 39th place. Great! The truth is, I really couldn't see anything through the dust until about mid 1st lap, and I just tried to dodge the downed girls and keep my bike upright. I busted my butt the remainder of the race and focused on my on-and- off skills and somehow worked my way up to 19th place! Awesome. I was pleased with that for sure, especially after being so beat up, down and out, and in the back of the pack. I looked forward to day 2 with much anticipation.

Day 2 started a little better with a 27th start number. That didn't do me much good since I bobbled my clip and got spit to the back right from the gun. I was definitely hurting from Saturday's effort and felt like I was kicked in the ribs by a donkey, so I had to play a smart race. I took some safe decisions early to avoid pile-ups and quickly moved up to where I was the day before. I had a great time, I was in a race for 16th with a good bunch of gals and I was able to keep my head in the game to hold on to the position. I was oh-so-close to that payout of 15th place, but just couldn't quite get there. I know moving from 19th to 16th may not seem like a big deal to some, but it meant a lot to me and any sign of forward progression at this point in the season is a step in the right place for Nationals in Bend later.

I was happy I decided to make the gp, and not miss it. Thanks to all the people who cheered and encouraged for me out there! Best cheers go to the Shamrock Cycles crew for sure! It's so nice to hit a big race and have shouts out on every aspect of the course when you feel like letting off the gas.

As for this week after the gp, I have paid for my decisions physically. I continue to be in a lot of discomfort and now have a full blown cold (hopefully not pneumonia). I've been off the bike since that 16th finish on Sunday, but have managed to work and that's good. This blog is really the first productive thing I have done so far and the rv sits parked in the driveway fully waiting to be unpacked from the gp. I've tanked up my fever to 102 degrees the last few days, so hopefully that temp is killing some of the little bugs making me sickly. It's kinda funny to me that I'm now fully ready and motivated mentally to train and race again, yet my body is waiving the stop sign at the moment. Ahhh. All in time... I look forward to getting back on the bike.

As for now I'm just thankful for the attitude. I was standing on the bridge ready to jump and now I am on the bridge ready to fly!

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. - Corinthians 4:8-9

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

(Let the racing begin! Taking off in the second row to the right of the field)

Ah yes, the UCI3 Cinci weekend of racing has come and gone in a blur of excitement... or dust and heat that is. Anyone who decides to tackle this 3 day race event knows it's a tough 3 days and I was super excited to test my cross skills against a full pro women's field that seems to be growing more and more every year for this event. Sweet!

My teammates Anne Young, and Josh Johnson packed up the RV (Mr T.) and took off for the first venue on Thur night. After a uneventful trip down, we spent a little too much time going around and up and down with the RV in Devou Park to find a place to stay only to be moved by the parks department early on race day. Partial RV purpose day 1 failed.

The Good: Anyway, once we finally got settled we headed to check out the newly designed venue this year. It only took a quick glance for me to know that this was not going to be on my "like" list of cross races. This was confirmed with my pre-ride. I make no secrets that I dislike hills and this place was crawling with them! Add some massive pot holes, heat, dust (asthma), and loose untacky dirt and I seriously considered bowing out on the day of racing to save my legs for the days to come... but I'm not a quitter, and maybe I would surprise myself. All in all, I ended up 16th. Which is funny, because it happened to be my best place of the weekend. I didn't feel good, I actually felt discouraged after this race as I discovered I still have a long way to go on my cornering skills. In retrospect, this isn't a complete handicap, as I know I can work on this in the future. The race itself was pretty uneventful and since I wasn't really in the mood to race, it all seemed kinda like a foggy memory while it was happening. Day 1 done.

(Taking on the barriers. Thanks for the great pics Jeff! http://jjakucyk.exposuremanager.com)

The Bad: We packed up and moved on to the day 2 venue at Sunset park. I think everyone loves this place. I really happen to like it too and since everyone else does, I knew most of the field had the same thought in their minds: " I'm gonna kill it on day 2." I like the course here, but also love the venue itself. Lion heart's, Doug gave us a friendly greeting on arrival that night and the place also has hot showers available, plus it has a great set-up for racing and spectating. I actually felt pretty good on my warm-up and was fired up to get going. We had several more gals out there and I actually had a good spot going into the first turn for a change. Excellent. Until everyone decided to go around a tree in the same line and as the pile formed, I had to put my foot down and dismount. Wha, wha, wha... stuck in catch up mode. That's cross racing though. I did a pretty good job of chasing back, but once the tight twisty came, I started losing time again. I eventually faded to 20th. Not near what I hoped for, and I was really down after the race. It's hard to be down for long when there are so many encouraging people out there, and I was thankful for every person out there with the kind words. I do have to remember a few things and keep those in perspective: 1. what I do for a real living is pretty much way different from those who beat me and bike racing isn't my job, 2. I've had a few major physical setbacks recently, and 3. I'm still a doing pretty darn good in a highly competitive field. I tried to remember these things and get my confidence out of the gutter.

I gained a huge insight on a couple things after this race too. One of which came from a personal professional pep talk, and the other is that I have been running a retarded gear choice up to this point. This may seem minor to all of you- but it's a huge revelation to me! That said, I was really excited to get to day 3!

(One of the many corners at Java Johnny's)

The Ugly: Harbin Park is typically been on my least favorite list. It's wide open, has some gradient climbs and not really what I would think would suite me. After getting my gearing changed, however, I was looking forward to it. We woke up that morning, well, it took some time to actually wake up, and already felt the heat starting to build. After 2 brutal days of racing in the heat, I think we were all dreading racing in more heat and looked forward to getting our racing done and moving on with the day. The bus was pretty sedate that morning as we were all pretty much in zombie mode and starting to feel the effects of the days before. Regardless, we had some racing to do. I decided to limit my time on the course since it was pretty straight forward. I only did 2 recon laps and chose to stay by the fans and water at the rv on the hottest of the 3 days. My plan worked out pretty well as I was feeling surprising good in my warm up.

(Always my favorite part of cyclocross: barriers! )

At the gun I had a decent start, nothing great, but the legs felt good and I knew I could do well as the race went on. Once we got off the pavement gals started getting twitchy already and I knew that everyone was going to be crazy the whole race with this being a C1 graded race. I kept a pretty smart race at the beginning and was pleased with how some of my mental visualization had improved my corning skills so far. About midway in the race I found myself in a nice group with the exception of one reckless gals who felt she needed to chop pass in order to gain time. Apparently, this caused Anne Swartz to be unnecessarily taken out and left me wanting to get away from her as quickly as I could. I went to the front and gaped her for a while, only to find her back on my six going into some off chamber technical spots at the beginning of lap 2. Apparently, she couldn't wait the 3 extra seconds to get around me on the flats so she decided to take an outside line, cut in front of me, lose her traction and slide out right under my front wheel. That really worked out well for her! I think we all know how this goes from here... I run her over, endo over my bars, bounce down the incline for several yards at a high rate of speed, finally come to a stop only to then find myself in motion again as my left foot gets tangled in another riders bike and I get dragged several more feet before she stops to let me out. All I have to say it thank goodness I was tangled in Gerry S's bike and she took the time to let me out, or my foot would have been cracked for sure! I don't think some other gals would have been so nice. In those seconds I was being dragged like a cowboy stuck on a bucking bronco, I was kinda laughing that this just had to be happening to my reconstructed ankle... really? Finally the never ending crash came to a stop. Hello! Where am I? And is it possible my entire body is broken because it sure felt like it. I was none to happy to say the least, but I tried to keep my cool and found my bike and thought if I got going again I would shake off the horrible feeling of blunt trauma. So after getting my chain put back on, I took a few pedals and thought I should stop and take a look at my foot since it hurt really bad (I hurt everywhere really bad) and take a better assessment. Okay, I just need to get going as the entire field is long gone. After riding for several minutes I decided something was wrong, I didn't know what, so I easy spun and started doing an anesthesia assessment on the go.... collarbone- seems okay, right wrist- not cool, couldn't feel my fingers (I ended up bruising my carpel tunnel), reconstructed ankle- sore, but workable, right and left back of shoulder- grass rash and bruises, left toe and inside of foot- wasn't sure (ended up with a huge bruise here), left hip- grass rash and big hematoma, right arm- some sort of puncture wound, right knee- cuts and bruises, right shoulder- bruising, lungs- just the wind knocked out of me... nothing seemed major, I just felt stunned. Or so I thought. Anyway, I decided to drop out at the end of the second lap. I was having trouble breathing and couldn't hold the handlebars. I was bummed, I had felt so good. Doesn't that always figure? Great legs and something beyond your control messes it up. Oh well. Done deal.

On the way home I had a few hours to replay things while driving the rv. My mates were resting their wounds as Anne decided to crack her head and get a concussion on her warm-up and Josh wrecked and flatted out of the race too. I took a look back over my 18 years of racing and came to the conclusion that this was the first race I had ever dnf'ed because of a body mechanical. Ever. I felt like a wimp, maybe I should have finished. What was my problem, nothing was bleeding bad or any bones sticking out.

Well, after a couple days at home, I still felt like a train wreck. I was in the ER staring a IV on a pediatric patient for work and asked the ER doc to take a look at my side that had been killing me. Case closed. I had broke my ribs in that massive pile drive into the hard ground. No wander I felt like my lungs had been dislocated. That's what was wrong. Even though I didn't feel so much like a wimp for the dnf, the last few days really has me tip toeing through the days. I'm getting really tired of being in pain and having bad body luck. I pray it changes for me soon, I would really like to see what I can do at a race 100%. Who knows? I'm sure God has this all planned out, but I hope the gal in question learns that racing a bike is NOT worth riding dirty and injuring other people around you. That's just ugly.

Anyway, the long weekend was fun, and I enjoyed the races and time with my teammates. It was so cool have the local fans out there cheering me on, and that always makes you go a little faster. I wish I could have produced a little better results for everyone, but in the end, I'm proud of what I accomplished. Thanks for reading and cheering everyone! Until next time- HUP, HUP!

(Making it cleanly through the sand pit before we both got wrecked!)

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”- Jeremiah 29:11

Velonews to Small City Love

So recently I've had a few props I guess, I had a famous leg and body shot in the Velonews report of the USGP on the first day (http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/09/cyclocross/2010-us-gran-prix-of-cyclocross-planet-bike-cup-day-1_143010/attachment/usgp-planet-bike-cup-1-19) and looks like I will be on the table of contents in this years USGP official guide. Yep, that's me to the left in the red and black DRT colors. I know it's pretty close to the sweet cover that JP has, but he's got a bit more invested in the deal. Now it's time to keep moving up in that pack.

The Rochester newspaper did a nice little interview with me recently to kick off their upcoming grand opening of their end of the newly formed rails to trails called the Nickle Plate trail. It's a really nice paved trail and since I am doing some recent work at the hospital in this area, I've been hitting up some easy training days on it. Check it out if you can, it's worth the drive!

It's really hard to explain cross to people who don't know about it, but I did my best!

Thanks to all the great folks at the Sentinel, and thanks for the front cover spread. It's always nice to see cycling make the paper in a region ruled by core sports.

Also, thought I would throw in a little pic from my warm-up on Saturday at the USGP taken by Caitlin Coar. She's got wicked photo taking skills and her mate has future star (and current) cred., so check out her site now and say you know them both before they are big time!

(photo credit to http://shrugsmugs.blogspot.com/)

Nuff blogging, and back to training! I've got some work to do!

Ridin Dirty, and Racing Eleanor

(Great race photes taken at the King's OVCX by Jeffery http://jjakucyk.exposuremanager.com)

The cross set up is all but done and good thing as I have now had 4 cross races in the books already. Its been a crazy long time since my last post, and I guess that shows how busy I have been at my real profession and barely making all this happen by the grace of God. I hope things will settle down at work in the coming weeks, but I'm still very thankful to be able to do 2 things I love very much in professional ways. So let me update on the builds then a little on racing thus far.

Its funny to look at the simplicity of a cross bike after it is built up and think back about all the planning and prepping that it took to put the bikes together. I'm pretty sure I started thinking about building these bikes a couple weekends before the racing stopped last season, and entertained myself doing so while recovering from that nasty ankle surgery in December. True, a cross bike is a thing of beauty and simpleness to look at, but it seems like I need some sort of chart system to put it all together every season. Anyway, as you can see I have went with Ridley this year and have been really loving the bike so far. My A bike is being run as a single ring front set-up and she's very elegant in my eyes. Weighing in at 15 lbs and 11 ozs, she a true lady. Her name is Eleanor Ridley.

(Introducing Eleanor)

My B bike is also very cool and is the work horse during the week and has a quarq powermeter. Dirty Harry has a big job this year as he's gonna see a lot of dirt and mud before it's all said and done! Before I go any farther I really have to give some love to one of my mechanics, Aaron Hawkins (www.winstonsbrand.com) who has spent huge amount of his personal time planning the set-up, building, perfecting, and gluing tubies to make this happen for me. I seriously could not have all this happening without his help! Thanks you so much Aaron, and to Barry McManus for a great fit and David Coar for being an all around help with product! You guys are awesome!

I also feel the most prepped I have ever been with Zipp wheels, tires, and bikes than I ever have and I'm slowly moving away from the getto set-up I once had before. Now I just need to put that equipment in motion!

(A little sampling of the Zipps this year. Thanks Zipp!)

So here's a 4 race break down: 1st at Kisscross. This was a totally fun night race I used as a practice race. Good thing I did as I spent 80% of the race unable to clip my right foot in as I was trying to use a new cleat (which is now no more). As a result, I busted my leg up repeatedly trying to clip in and even managed to get my ankle (the good one) caught in my front wheel. I don't recommend that. It was a frustrating night, but I managed to beat a few guys and felt my legs were strong.

The feeling quickly faded as I headed to the OVCX kick off in Cinci. The King's event is a ton of fun and they do a great job and I like to go here, despite it not really being my type of venue. I continued my clip in woes and found myself having to work thru the pack at the start only to discover I had a crazy loose rear hub that had me babying every corner. This left me having to kill it out of every turn power wise and somehow I managed a 2nd place finish in a greatly improving ovcx elite field. Sunday, was a better race for me technically, my shoe and bike wasn't an issue and it was sweet to ride things that were working. I ended up a disappointing 3rd, but in retrospect, I had one to many nights up at the hospital that week and spent up way too much energy on Saturday to keep up with some really fast ladies. Being up at all hours and having a 22 hour day didn't do much for recovery. Fatigue and a hard effort was not a good combination. Congrats to all of them and I'm really excited about the quality of the women we have racing the ovcx races this year. I can't really complain much about being 2nd and 3rd for feeling so horrible. It is just a bike race and I feel I kept a positive attitude during the race depsite being out of my norm.

I was able to get a little more rest the week after that, but still had a few days of late nights and early mornings with work and training. See a theme here? Sorry to carry on about it... but I can't stress how important it is to be able to sleep and rest in order to have things go right as a bike racer. When I can rest I never take it for granted and thank God every morning when I have been able to sleep pager free throughout the night. Anyway, so I'm blogging from Madison, WI currently. I am chillin in the RV after finishing the first USGP day of the season. I knew it was going to be a tough race by looking at the all-star list that was signed up. The women's fields in these races don't really have anyone you can write off and it's like having a box of chocolate with all the good flavors. The elite men may have more numbers, but I feel like the quality of the women's field is very high. With that self-justification, I finished 20th out of 23 today. I was kinda bummed, but then I kinda remembered and was reminded by my DRT coach that I'm only 2 months after having my emergency appy, and we are still building the base fitness up. You can't really put the star on top of the Christmas tree until you put all the fancy decoration at the bottom. My star is still in the box, but I figure I'll get it out later in the year. The good news is that, despite not having any high end training yet, I felt like I had a much better race today and may be getting my groove back some, bit by bit. I truly did have fun and it was cool to have so many people out there cheering for me, and the Wisconsin people know how to make a cross race a good time. Of course, I'm looking to improve tomorrow, but I'm really happy to be able to line up with ladies who cycle for their jobs, are Olympic athletes, future stars, and who are world champion contenders. I'm just a little nurse anesthetist during the week, playing with the big dogs on the weekends and that's pretty cool.

So that's a quick update thus far, tomorrow will be day 2 of the USGP and then its back to the ovcx series before hitting the UCI3 races in Cinci. Hopefully I post a little more regularly, since that means I will have a little more time in my days to come.... we'll see. Right now, I'm humbled.

James 4:10
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.